Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Mindless ramblings...

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to suppress it ... it will slowly resurface. No matter how much you try to bury it with all the superficial earthly created materials and items... it will find its way back and knock on your front door. One might say,"time will heal" but that is just bullshit. It was engraved so deeply into you, there's nothing time can do to remove it. Even if time did heal, the scars it created still remains. You might try to shout or cry your heart out to ease your mind but it will not go away that easily. You could also try to shove it into a little box, lock it up and throw away the key; hoping one day that it will cease to haunt you. Somehow, someway... it will find a way to find that key and open that little box. When that time comes, it will make your heart ache even more. Bottling and keeping mum about it only aggravates the pain you feel when it resurfaces. What about sharing it with someone you trust? No... no one could ever understand the lost and agony it brought. No one will know what you went through... they might lend a sympathetic ear or give you hugs to encourage you... that's just how far they will go.

Why? Why did God do such things to create it? Did you create it? No... you can't be the one who created it. No... not you. God was the One who created it. You tried confronting it but always end up hurting yourself. Probably you should resign to fate... it is not something can remove or hide... it will always be a part of you; part of your life. Part of the burden you have to carry as you journey through the meaningless existence you have here. What should you do to minimize the sufferings associated with it? Pray for God's assistance? He created it in the first place. He was the one that handed such a cruel fate to you. Yes, one might say that mere mortals like you will never comprehend His will. You know you understand that but you can never accept it. It is a reminder for what God is capable of regardless of how pious or faithful one can be. It is also a reminder that life is a cruel and meaningless game for He can always add a wicked twist to your fate.

You seek a exit for all the agony; trying in vain to escape the pain. No matter what you do, it will always be a part of your body and soul. Till the day you return to dust, it will remain with you...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hi there

may u find solace in Him so that "it" decreases as day go by

i do have some "its" - i guess we all do, may be one day by looking back "it" really does not do as much harm as we think. may be "it" will make us appreciate life more..

peace
E