Monday, November 07, 2005

Faith is a wonderful thing

Some might categorize this entry as an "emo" one. I don't really mind because i am quite "emo" now.

Faith is something that be best describe as a sense of trust and confidence you have in someone or something. I believe that faith in God is not something one can obtain with a snap of a finger or any other means. Faith is given to an individual by God. We, mere mortals, can only ask for more faith from Him and through His Grace, He will grant us that. I have personally witness miracles happening because of Faith.

The first case was my maternal grandmother. Almost a month ago, my taoist grandma was at the verge of dying. The doctor discharged her from the ICU and told her family to make arrangements. She was in such a pitiful state that the doctors can only give her mild dosage of morphine and other drugs to keep her "high" and to numb her pain. Even she herself knew her time was near. On the 16th October morning, she work up early in the morning and told my eldest uncle in Cantonese,"Ask Jesus to bring me to Heaven". She, being a staunch taoist all her life, wanted to know Jesus.

My eldest uncle, respecting her wishes asked his siblings who are Catholics (he is a Taoist) to get a priest to baptize her. They managed for find Rev.Phillip Tan from St.Ignatius Church and she was baptized on that day itself. Miraculously, the very next day, blood has returned to her pale face and she can start eating porridge instead of liquid food. She started to tease people around her though she was still bedridden. 3 weeks down the road, she is now very healthy and can eat like a horse. (she eats a lot for someone her age!) She is still on a wheelchair but she is beginning to walk small steps with the help of her children and husband. Faith in Jesus has transformed a dying woman to a healthy grandma overnight. Miracle? It is definitely a miracle.

Another amazing miracle one i have witness is the strength one can derive from Faith. My mum is a living testimony. My mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer at the end of February this year. Having stage 2 cancer certainly comes as a shock to her and my family. She never shed a single tear when she heard the news. She took it in her stride and she had to comfort us instead! My mother braced herself and underwent a surgery to remove her infected breast and went through a series of chemotherapy to kill the remaining cancer cells. Never once did my mum cry or whine to us that it was agonizing. All she said was,"If this is the cross God wants me to bear, i will bear it for it is His will be done, not mine".

Six months down the road, she completed her chemotherapy and my family and i were relieved to have this ordeal behind us. As her doctor instructed, my mum went for her routine check-up and to her and our horror, the cancer cells have reached stage four (which is the critical stage) and has spread to her lungs and liver. Once again, according to my dad (who never left her side all this while) my mum did not shed a single tear nor did she lament why such cruel fate had befallen her. That was 10 October (the day i posted an entry entitled,"What the f**k?"). When we, the children heard about it, of course we were saddened but my mum explained to me (I am the only Catholic among my siblings) that i should not be angry with God neither should i blame God. She explained to me that it is His will be done, not ours and we will never comprehend what He is doing. My mum even had to explain to my non-believing siblings that God isn't a cruel being who loves to torment His subjects. This coming from my mum, has convinced me of how much Faith my mum has in God. My mum, being the one inflicted by such a dreaded and agonizing illness, instead of having her family comforting her, she had to comfort us instead. Isn't that ironic?

As if her current strong dose of chemotherapy isn't suffering enough, at her MRI scan today, it was shown that the cancer cells has spread from her lungs to her brain. When my mum broke the news to me after i got back from work, she saw my expression and had to tell me again not to blame God. My mum just shrugged and said that she will fight this to the very end but if it is God's will for her to return to Him, she would gladly do so. Man, it is so heart wrenching to hear words like this.

Seeing my mum suffer and yet still have such strong Faith really amazes me. I will continue to pray for my mum's well being and hope that God will grant me more Faith to accept that it is His will be done, not mine. So many things has happened but yet, i find myself more drawn to Him instead of blaming Him for everything that has happened to my family members. Thank you Lord Jesus for showing what Faith can do. Amen!

P.S: For those who read this entry, if you have the heart, please pray for my mum and my family. It has been a long and taxing year for all of us and we are confident, with the help of your prayers, we will be able to make it through this ordeal. Thanks. :)


neo said...

hang in there alrite.
i will be praying for your mum and family.

my mum had breast cancer 13 years ago. and i believe God has sustained her this far. i was too young to understand the magnitude of the suffering my parents had to go through. but when ilook back, i've seen God's hand on my family.

your mum is really a brave woman, and even though i do not know her, it has found in me a deep sense of respect in me for her.

i will be praying.
take care

Unka said...

Thanks Neo...

I really appreciate it. God has worked miracles in both our families!

Now if only the non-believers can see this! Haha... :P

cheehan said...

Erm, dunno wat to say. Wish your mom recover soon la

Christina said...

I will definitely pray for you...I have faith in God and you should too. Miracles happen when you BELIEVE and I am sure this is just a test from, don't give up:) I should know as my brother and I were also in a critical condition...last year because of the dengue fever,perhaps on the verge of dying too, words can't express how scary it was at that time and I believed it strengthened my faith in God...HE who will be there for us when we need him, HE who saves, and HE who loves us.
I am full of awe for your mother, I believe she has a strong willpower and she's really faithful..she will pass the test and I am sure she's very proud to have you as a son:)
You have my continuous prayers for take good care of yourself will be her pillar of strength as well..:)
God bless you and your family!

lyly said...

Hey fren,

Although u might not know me but chee loon linked ur blog thru his msn. Definitely will pray for you and i just want to share with you this favourite quote of faith to you. "Faith is trusting God's character when life gives u a reason not to". I truely believe that your mum is strongly trusting God right now although circumstances does not allow it.

I do marvel upon your mum's faith as well as yours. All i can say is keep persevering, your mum need a lot of support and encouragement from you. I will pray for you and your family. God bless you and your family..

brian yap said...

be tough!
God bless.

daniel said...

i'm sorry to hear this... will pray

keep the faith
take care.

Keith said...

Sorry to hear it, will pray for you and your family. God bless.

Evonne Yin said...

Hi there Nick,

Such common disease befalls on women nowadays.My mom has been diagnosed with a cyst in her womb in 1997 and had it removed.Now, she relies on medication to keep her away from another growth.But with a possible chance of getting breast cancer.Nevertheless, she's wonderfully healthy now.I wont deny I will be the same too and I guess every women out there knows the chances.So, we learn not to take things for granted.

You have been strong for your family especially your mom. Put your chin up and keep praying.

May God be with you and your family.

Take Care.

Unka said...

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement. Thanks. God bless all of you :)

Joyce said...

Stay strong and tough yeah Uncle Chan!...i will pray hard for you n your family esp your beloved mum...

HuiMian said...

Just read your blog today. Stay strong for your mom and family.